i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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