i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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