Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
