remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
