I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think my moral compass just broke
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