it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
