she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
