Is it normal to miss your booty call?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
pop tarts are not kleenex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
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