You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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