ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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