so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
