is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
