I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
