The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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