I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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