I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
