you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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