the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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