Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
false alarm, still single
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