My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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