ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
