Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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