And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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