If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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