Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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