I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize