so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
