You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
