is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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