My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
