ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
