it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
