don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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