just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
