This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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