It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize