It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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