He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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