i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize