So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
