I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
