Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Slut skills are useful in every country.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I believe in your delicious
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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