THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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