I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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