I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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