best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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