on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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