No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
