After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its not stalking. its research.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
