I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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