He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize