He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
...so i touched it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize