i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize
