windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
