i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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