I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize